Once a week or so, my hometown newspaper, the Greeley Tribune, puts together what they call their Cop Log. Basically they compile the weirdest stuff that the cops encounter over the last month or so in Greeley and Evans, and print it for the world to see. Today, it's the story of the mysterious hemorrhoid medicine.
May 25th, 10:15 a.m.: Police received a call from the 300 block of 11th Avenue. The caller said they received a suspicious, "squishy" package. Inside was hemorrhoid medicine and children's pajamas. Police realized the package was supposed to go to another house, so they delivered it there by hand.
Why you would call the cops about something like this, I have no idea. However, the most important thing here is making sure the hemorrhoid cream got to it's rightful owner. I've heard that can be quite uncomfortable!