Look, we're not news reporters. But we can read. This is just an amalgamation of that which we read across the intronets. It's designed to keep you informed (and to scare the crap out of the hypochondriac Sadie, which is fun as hell...) So, follow along with that which could kill us all (seeming like less and less a funny topic everyday...)
U.S. Confirms 15th Case of Coronavirus
Keep in mind, the numbers that CBS reports in this story are phony as can be - it's like their reading direct from the Chinese-communists' press release. Look, Norah, can you say propaganda?! The CDC says the outbreak could continue into next year.
They Documented the Coronavirus Crisis in Wuhan - and then they vanished!
These video bloggers sent us stories filled with grief, fear, and dissatisfaction of their government from the heart of China. And then they vanished. What the actual f-word. You speak against the Chicoms and you disappear! Scott's opinion: The Chinese lie - you can't trust them!
Coronavirus is Good News for Gamers: People in China are Using Video Games to Keep One Another Company
Sure, if you're quarantined, you can connect via the gaming console. The Chinese people celebrate their new year much like we celebrate Christmas - it's a big time for vacations and time off. But they're usually back from New Year's vakay by now. This CNN Vid shows just how desolate Beijing is...
The Largest Coronavirus Outbreak Outside if China is Where?!
Not India?! Not another heavily-populated Asian country?! A cruise ship. (Fast Forward to 7:25) Let's hit the buffet...
Think Socialism and Communism is Cool?
Here's what happens when you politely tell the government "I don't want your stinking quarantine...
Citizen Journalists That Dare Tell the Truth in China Get Arrested
The communists are such an open people - committed to the truth. This guy films a van filled with body bags...
Dr. Li May Become a Hero for Free Speech Advocates in China
He was the first one to call BS on the way the Chinese government was handling the disease. Then he contracted it. And then he died - but certainly not in vain.
And Then There's This Guy...
We have no clue what he's saying, but we bet he's like China's Jerry Springer...
Paranoids and Hypochondriacs, This Guy's For You
Bottom line: We're all going to die.