How I Thought I Might Have Caught Coronavirus on a Plane

Getty/Emanuele Cremaschi/Stringer

Last week I went to Nashville for a country radio conference. It was cool, but my story really has nothing to do with that, but the crazy plane ride home instead.

I should have known things were going to be interesting when I got to the gate to board the plane and they wouldn't let me on because I had some chick named Erica's boarding pass. The same boarding pass they gave me when I checked in, and also got through security with, by the way. I didn't check it, because, why would you?

Once I got that mess worked out, I was left with very few options for seats... Flying Southwest, and being the last person on isn't fun. I found a middle seat towards the back of the plane, and the guy on the aisle graciously let me in. This will be the last time I talk fondly of this gentlemen in this article...

Once the plane backed away from the gate he put on one of those medical, I don't want to get you sick/I don't want whatever anyone else has, masks. I thought Coronavirus for a second, but it wasn't a huge thing. That is until every five minutes, on the minute he changed out said mask, and discarded of the old one in a way that he did not want to touch it. This went on for about a half an hour and six or seven of these masks.

After he stopped with the masks, he started in on the very citrus smelling hand sanitizer. He would put some on, rub it into his hands and face, close the lid, sit there for thirty seconds or so, and repeat. This happened three or four times, and he finally stopped.

He was still for about 15 minutes, long enough for me to doze off after a long trip. But about five minutes into my slumber, it was like I'd dreamed I'd just got rained on, only to wake up and see he had squired his sanitizer all over my lap and arms. I looked at him waiting for a "sorry," or "my bad," or "you now have Coronavirus," ANYTHING, but he had the liquid all over himself also and was very fidgety about cleaning himself, so much so that he did not acknowledge he got it all over me.

There was a piece of me that wanted to call an attendant and explain why the plane needed to make an emergency landing to get this dude some help, and likely me too, but instead I sat for the rest of the hour and a half plane ride with weird thoughts about being infected running through my head.

We are now two days post-flight, and I'm still alive, and show no symptoms of being infected with anything from this dudes random juice. However, this is me telling you what to look for if I happen to keel over here soon. Good vibes, please!

Sponsored Content

Sponsored Content